Very early in our childhood, our mother took my
brother and I from our father due to alcoholism.
We were products of parents who were themselves
carrying about abuse and neglect, and we were
recipients as well. I was six and my brother
We were boarded with strangers in an eastern
state and left for an indefinite period of time.
Looking back, it seemed that we had been sent
into a wilderness of which we had no help, our
backs turned to a hot furnace of affliction.
Our mother eventually came to get us and then
the moving began. She was a very angry person
and flighty, uprooting us at any
time she became dissatisfied, which was often.
We lived mostly in old mining towns in
Nevada, in little shacks that were drafty and
cold, outhouses that were dark and scary.
After we moved to Nevada the compulsive
gambling started, she would take the food
money while we would wait in the car or movie
theaters until very late. Then
losing her money, she would go out, only
to return again when she was able to
earn a little. She frequented saloons
and gambling halls where my brother
and I waited on the old wood benches
searching for cigarette butts, as a game
to occupy our attention.
Humiliated and shamed, no one to turn to,
no family of friends – little did we know,
that this was preparing us to reach out to
receive help from above!