I learned to survive”
Well, after my visit I went back
home and as usual we began moving
around from town to town,
schools had rules and I had to relearn
each one.
I got into trouble Daddy, when I came
back, I started chasing around, doing
stupid things that you can only do in a
mining town, with gambling, bars and
fights.
Those evil men did things to me that
were not right. Many times I was up all
night. Often there was no food.
Sometimes if I was lucky a can of Dinty
Moore Stew would do.
I’m so glad you didn’t know this, your heart
would have been broken in two, for all
your child went through.
But I wouldn’t be honest if I denied my
anger. Where were you when I needed
protection from danger?
But Daddy, you would have been proud
of me, I learned to survive.
It is amazing what children can do
when they try. I tried many things to
protect myself.
They were not the smart thing to do,
but it was all I knew.
I developed a set of rules to deal with
the craziness of things. I somehow got
through the years but there were many
tears.
I had difficulties with Mama. She was
unbearable to live with and I wanted
out of the trauma.
She kept going into those buildings with
flashing lights for hours. I stared in the
windows waiting for her to come out,
but she would never win those games
she played, even though she would go
every day.
I thought the way was to get married at
sixteen, and before you knew it I had
two babies living in a mining town.
But I knew in my heart I would never
raise them like me.
Well, this is pretty long and you have
bent your ear to hear this story.
You know Daddy, I really appreciate you
listening now, since you didn’t hear or
see me when I was a child.
Oh, and one thing I forgot to mention,
there will be mistakes in these letters,
since they are written from a little girl’s
heart,
even though I’m a grown up now.
I know you loved me Daddy, you just didn’t
know what to do, your illness kept us apart.
Well, I will visit you again soon, I have much
more to say to you!
