Love Letters To My Daddy #2

“Well Daddy you would have been proud of me,
I learned to survive”

  • Well, after my visit I went back
    home and as usual we began moving
    around from town to town,
    schools had rules and I had to relearn
    each one.
    I got into trouble Daddy, when I came
    back, I started chasing around, doing
    stupid things that you can only do in a
    mining town, with gambling, bars and
    fights. 
    Those evil men did things to me that
    were not right. Many times I was up all
    night. Often there was no food.
    Sometimes if I was lucky a can of Dinty
    Moore Stew would do.
    I’m so glad you didn’t know this, your heart
    would have been broken in two, for all
    your child went through.
    But I wouldn’t be honest if I denied my
    anger. Where were you when I needed
    protection from danger?
    But Daddy, you would have been proud
    of me, I learned to survive.
    It is amazing what children can do
    when they try. I tried many things to
    protect myself.
    They were not the smart thing to do,
    but it was all I knew.
    I developed a set of rules to deal with
    the craziness of things. I somehow got
    through the years but there were many
    tears.
    I had difficulties with Mama. She was
    unbearable to live with and I wanted
    out of the trauma.
    She kept going into those buildings with
    flashing lights for hours. I stared in the
    windows waiting for her to come out,
    but she would never win those games
    she played, even though she would go
    every day.
    I thought the way was to get married at
    sixteen, and before you knew it I had
    two babies living in a mining town.
    But I knew in my heart I would never
    raise them like me. 
    Well, this is pretty long and you have
    bent your ear to hear this story.
    You know Daddy, I really appreciate you
    listening now, since you didn’t hear or
    see me when I was a child.
    Oh, and one thing I forgot to mention,
    there will be mistakes in these letters,
    since they are written from a little girl’s
    heart,
    even though I’m a grown up now.
    I know you loved me Daddy, you just didn’t
    know what to do, your illness kept us apart.
    Well, I will visit you again soon, I have much
    more to say to you!

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