My Child Interrupted

“But perhaps this dark night of the soul has a purpose and a reason”

The churning waters were
billowing on the face of the
deep,

In the darkness of swelling
waves,

Swirling in the deep abyss
Crying aloud with groaning
pains,
waiting to give birth and be
delivered

Before God speaks His word
“Let there be light and life
on earth”
my existence is in His thoughts

He patterns my form when yet
there is none

A seed plunges into the
darkness of the womb,
two beings creating a separate
being as they embrace in a
moment of bliss

In an instant His pattern for
my life is written in indelible
ink

The beginning of a tiny infant
not fully formed is immersed
in the embryonic fluids

Each part is fashioned by
His hand and my heart begins
pulsating life

His plan for my life is
skillfully wrought in the lowest
parts of the earth

But who am I to question why
I am cast into circumstances
beyond my control?

The chosen vessel carrying me
is frightened as her only
awareness of love is of abuse
and neglect

Her thoughts are permeated
into my small mind being
knitted together, as sinews and
flesh are fashioned about my
tiny body

The cells of my being are engulfed
with her memories of long ago
While the blood racing through
,her body feeds the embryo with
a frightening adrenalin rush

I have to wait in that darkness
just as the seed must wait for
the nurturing acts of God to
call forth life

I am called and reluctantly enter
this world

My first glimpse of life is not
pleasant to my childish nature,
I question as Job, “Why did I
not die at birth?”

“Why did I not perish before I
was born?”

A wall of separation comes
,crashing down, planting its
steel bars deep into the chasm

of the earth
culminating in an abrupt
interruption of time

You have said I must become
as a little child, must I go back
to the very beginning of
conception?

Must I have the mind of a babe
unmindful of its surroundings
content to exist in each stage
of formation?

If I could only shut my eyes
and reflect on the innocent
mind of a child bathed in
quintessential peace and
tranquility

To be freed of these scattered
thoughts that take me captive
to another world of doubt and
uncertainty
quenching the Spirit and nullifying
the goodness of God

I am helpless to know the answer
to these questionings, it is as if I
were being drawn into a darkness
of which I am powerless

But perhaps this dark night of
the soul has a purpose and a
reason

that I need to embrace this
darkness as the nocturnal labor
pains of life experiences bring
healing and comfort to –
My child interrupted!



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