“Would I Be Able To Face This World Of Obstacles”

As a result of an epiphany in my life, very simple, but with

A driving force, started an onslaught of memories which

I began to write in prose and poetry. A year or two after

This my son took his life interrupting my ability to continue

Writing for quite some time. After this episode I also attempted

To take mine as well. I have written poems on these two


“Will I succeed With Nerves On Edge, From Medication And Sedation”


It was a sudden decision, a force grabbed my mind, to all

Things on earth I was blind. I was done!

A warm summer evening, with beauty all around that I would

Never again look upon

A bottle of pills and a bottle of wine would do this job just fine

Driving up the road past homes of friends, I did not realize the

Pain my decision would bring

But this would only be for a time, friends would soon forget, I

Would beforgotten as time went on. The sun began to set as

I parked the car on a far off road, my last night on earth, taking

One more look, shadows lingering upon the hills

My last night on earth, I twisted the cork, tipping the bottle to

My lips, then taking the bottle of pills with one more look at the

Lavender hills, falling asleep, death would be a sweet release

Suddenly I awoke to the sound of words, I was placed on a

Stretcher, they were trying to keep me alive, I was angry,

“Why God was I not taken, did You have something else in mind?

Did I try to stop my clock just for You to rewind? This was my

Intention but He had plans of intervention, the answer to this

Question would come in time


The door closes behind me, I am released from the hospital

Back into the world of obstacles, I feel the warm sun on my

Skin, fresh air I breathe, I hear sounds of cars speeding by

The sound of an airplane, the sound of the train, people

Rushing about to survive, will I succeed facing the world

With nerves on edge from medication and sedation? I

Have reservations as I leave this place, the world went on

Without me, not knowing or caring why I suddenly left

I have been among people who were very ill with

Challenges we all have in common, I do not quite

Understand their tight hold on life, when I was so intent on

Leaving this world, with my stay the space of time empties into

Remoteness, days lose their existence, no one understands

The apprehension I feel, will I face emptiness, can I make it

In life? Little do I know there is Someone close by, I am not

Alone in this.

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