The Day After

“It Seems Like I Never Write Enough”

The Day After

Well I made it through Mother’s Day

But it was tough, I did a lot of writing

But it never seems enough

I started writing later in life, when

The words started spilling out

My son decided he had to leave

And threw in the towel

Then with an estranged daughter,

Which is highly understood, it seems

To run in the family

Emotions are raging and I feel the loss

Even more

No Mother’s Day dinner this year

I’ll just have a smoothie, some cheese

And bread, with some popcorn thinking

I’ll drown my feelings in that, darn, why

Did I do this, a cheap drunk, now my

Stomach hurts and I’m still depressed

Then I’ll watch a Netflix movie, I like

The foreign ones with subtitles best

They make me focus so I don’t have to think

I know I’m just feeling sorry for myself

In all of this

Well I am exhausted and have to go

To bed, so I’ll finish this in the morning

Cause there is more to be said

Next Morning

My iPad sleeps with me, and most of

The time upon awakening I start writing

To combat the fear of chattering in

The early morning hours, that is hard

To bare, there is a prayer I say that

I have almost memorized

“Lord take me out of this prison

Remove my chains and

Rescue me from drowning”…

There are six more lines, I find this

Comforting, for in desperation I

Am reminded I’m powerless over all

Of this too

For when it comes to sanity I always

Felt one card short of a deck, and

Wondered why I haven’t been

Committed, but by the grace of God,

Except for one or two short stays

But my nemesis of all these things is

Rejection by others, I’m not sure of

The words to describe, of the conflict

Between two people inside, the

Child and the adult, the mature side

Of me knows it is best to accept the

Behavior of others and turn them over

To a higher power, but that raging child

Refuses to accept and starts a war within

This battle continues to rage, but I can

Say, God intervenes and I seem to always

Win with Him by my side!

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