“I Am Released From The Hospital, Back Into The World Of Obstacles”

…after purchasing the bottle of wine, I drove my short journey

To a remote area thinking no one would be around. Turning

The car off, there is a stillness, a perfect place to bring my

Life to an end. To end the grief and agony I had been enduring.

I unscrewed the cork and bottle of pills and took them all,

Then fell asleep.

I was partially awakened by a woman at the window,

Appearing from no where, then once again falling


The ride in the ambulance took me to a hospital.

Now I was not my own, for when a person attempts to hurt

Themselves or another, endangering their life, they are put

On a seventy two hour hold, placed in a facility, and then begins

An intense regimen of a continuous round of group therapy, private

Counseling and doctors prescribing psychotic drugs.

I had become separated from myself, not understanding that

I was running from the innermost part of me that was struggling to

Exist, desperately trying to hold on, but the opposition of two

Forces within was almost more than I could bare. I was oblivious

To the fact that I was not alone, God saw me in this wretched

State, and was not about to leave me there…

The door closes behind me, I

Am released from the hospital,

Back into the world of obstacles.

I feel the warm sun on my skin,

Breathing fresh air, hearing the sounds

Of cars as they speed by, the sound

Of an airplane,

The whistle of the train, people

Moving back and forth trying to


Will I succeed in facing the world

With nerves on edge from medication

And sedation?

I have reservations as I leave this


With my stay, the space of time

Emptied into remoteness, days lost

Their existence.

The world had gone on without me,

Not knowing or caring why I had

Suddenly left for awhile. I had

Been placed among people who

Were very ill, struggling to survive

I did not quite understand their

Tight hold on life.

With my stay the days emptied

Into space.

Can I do this?

Can I make it in life?

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