Yearnings

“As a flower springing forth, ready to bloom”

A couple of days ago, I ran into

My two daughters in the store.

It was a fun time seeing them

Together, shopping for their new

Homes. Later they bought me

Some clothes, which I didn’t

Really need, (since COVID 19)

My closet is full and there is

No where to go

My one daughter and

Her husband just retired here

And we are excited to be one

family again, I thought to

Myself, and was grateful to

See them happy doing things

That girls do. Later my daughter

Mentioned that she hadn’t

Realized until now that I had

Not experienced this kind of

Pleasure, she was right, as

A young girl I did not learn

This type of behaviour we

Were very poor, I did not

Have a nurturing mother, as I

Know she did not as well.

I began to fall into a place where

I knew better, but I started

Feeling like I had not given to

My children what I yearned to

Give, I had missed out on

Being a mother I would have

Liked to have been

~~~~

Why did I do it? Where was

My mind?

Why could I not see it?

I thought it the right thing to do

I did not question why!

I just went about life trying to

Survive

I was a follower, I was wIlling to

Do anything

Under the auspices of Godliness

I was sure I did all the right

Things to please others

To make sure I lacked nothing

I even gave up lipstick and rouge

Eye shadow too

But when I looked in the mirror

Even with all I had done, I was

False, cracks in the mirror proved that

From the frown reflecting back

This was an illness I carried

Around

As a flower springing forth

Ready to bloom, when a hot

Wind blows it withers and dies before

It has a chance to survive

My heart sighs I cry over years

Gone by

Of times I lost with my children

Trying to prove my worth

Ignoring the ones to whom I gave

Birth

The yearnings of my heart will

Not bring these things back

But perhaps I did the best I

Could for the war I went through in my

Childhood

These years could not go on

I would learn a different

Way to live, one of acceptance

Just as I am!

Read more at: www.donnaspoetry.com

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