A couple of days ago, I ran into
My two daughters in the store.
It was a fun time seeing them
Together, shopping for their new
Homes. Later they bought me
Some clothes, which I didn’t
Really need, (since COVID 19)
My closet is full and there is
No where to go
My one daughter and
Her husband just retired here
And we are excited to be one
family again, I thought to
Myself, and was grateful to
See them happy doing things
That girls do. Later my daughter
Mentioned that she hadn’t
Realized until now that I had
Not experienced this kind of
Pleasure, she was right, as
A young girl I did not learn
This type of behaviour we
Were very poor, I did not
Have a nurturing mother, as I
Know she did not as well.
I began to fall into a place where
I knew better, but I started
Feeling like I had not given to
My children what I yearned to
Give, I had missed out on
Being a mother I would have
Liked to have been
~~~~
Why did I do it? Where was
My mind?
Why could I not see it?
I thought it the right thing to do
I did not question why!
I just went about life trying to
Survive
I was a follower, I was wIlling to
Do anything
Under the auspices of Godliness
I was sure I did all the right
Things to please others
To make sure I lacked nothing
I even gave up lipstick and rouge
Eye shadow too
But when I looked in the mirror
Even with all I had done, I was
False, cracks in the mirror proved that
From the frown reflecting back
This was an illness I carried
Around
As a flower springing forth
Ready to bloom, when a hot
Wind blows it withers and dies before
It has a chance to survive
My heart sighs I cry over years
Gone by
Of times I lost with my children
Trying to prove my worth
Ignoring the ones to whom I gave
Birth
The yearnings of my heart will
Not bring these things back
But perhaps I did the best I
Could for the war I went through in my
Childhood
These years could not go on
I would learn a different
Way to live, one of acceptance
Just as I am!
Donna's Poetry Blog 