September is ‘National Suicide Awareness


Nine years ago my son took his life and two

Years later I attempted to take mine. They

Call this a cluster effect, when the act is

Followed by a family or friend, or even a celebrity.

It has a lasting effect on many. Some do not

Understand the depression or other mental

Disorders that can lead to this devastating

Illness. I have dealt with depression all of my

Life, some times more difficult than others.

And some family members or friends

Do not understand, and withdraw from

The sufferer, not

Realizing it is like any other illness

One may have. If you have a broken leg it is

Not your fault, and have to seek professional

Help for healing, surgery, medications and


Isn’t that true of mental illness? It is not our

Fault that we have a broken mind, unable to

Control our thoughts. Shouldn’t we as well

Seek healing through doctors, therapy and


The following is a poem I wrote after my

Experience with this emotional trauma.

I have posted this before but in recognition

Of this month I would like to share it again.


It was a sudden decision

A force grabbed my mind

To all things on earth I

Was blind

I was done!

A warm summer evening

With beauty all


That I would never again

Look upon

A bottle of pills and a bottle

Of wine would do this job

Just fine

Driving up the road past

Homes of friends

I did not realize the pain

My decision would bring

But this would only be for a


Friends would soon forget, I

Would be forgotten as time

Went on

The sun began to set

As I parked the car on a

Far off road

My last night on earth

Taking one more look

Shadows lingering upon the


I twisted the cork tipping

The bottle to my lips

Taking the bottle of pills

Falling asleep, death would

Be a sweet release


Suddenly I awoke to the

Sound of words

As I was placed on a stretcher

They were trying to keep me


I was angry

“Why God, was I not taken,

Did You have something else

In mind?”

“Did I try to stop my clock just

For You to rewind?”

This was my intention but

He had plans of intervention

The answer to this question

Would come in time!

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