A New Year’s Letter

“I Will Walk My Dog And Have A Cup Of Tea”

Even midst the tragic things that have happened

This year, we were able to pull out our decorations.

And lose ourselves in our celebrations. Just for

Awhile the focus has been joyful and happy.

Sometimes it seems after all the excitement has

Ended, there is a time of letting down,

It is called the aftermath of Christmas blues, and

With the new year just around the corner, it is a time

For reflection…

The first and the third day of the first month

Are the anniversaries

Of the birth of two significant losses in my life…

Not a good time to have lost loved ones, but then is

There ever a ‘good’ time?

Here is a reflection…

A year ago we all had hope

As the year 2019 came to a close

Now in the ending of 2020 our

Prayers ascend for a better one

To come

The gloss and glitter are packed in

Their box

The candles are spent, their flame


Gifts are exchanged, the fun is

Over and now New Years Eve is

Come upon us

Where the Christmas tree shone

It is empty of lights

Quiet after all the company has

Come and gone…

And now I am not sure what to do

As the hours approach bringing

In the new

Maybe watch a movie?

Or just go to bed early, waiting for the

Night to pass?

Or I could write a letter

So God, I guess I’ll write a

Letter to you…

You know there is a lot on my mind

A time for reminiscing

Memories of things I would rather

Have forgotten

My reasonings are not safe

My questionings are not good

I’m tempted to fall into repinings

And grief…

I had three but one is missing

My heart is thankful for the

Two remaining

But Lord didn’t you have

Ninety and nine, but for that one

that was lost

You searched and could not find

You never gave up till you brought

Him home?

Excuse my questionings

But like Job of old who had many

More losses, than ever foretold

questioned Your

Goodness but never with cursing

And then there is mine

You know how I stepped out in


For him I gave all but he couldn’t


He fled away

And now he is gone

Lord this lays heavy upon my


As I look about my neighborhood

Just two doors down

And watch little Isabel, just seven

Years old, her sister and two

Brothers, playing in the street

Oblivious to the fact, that they

Are not in the best of a healthy


She reminds me of me when I was

Her age, unkempt hair, barefoot

And not the best clothes to wear

Their father is in jail

Where is their mother, no one

Knows nor do they really care?

CPS is now at the door, where

Now will they go is anyone’s


And then their is Johnny,

Down the street and to the right

His hair is trimmed, his clothes

Sewn by a caring mother

Every week they go to church…

I wonder God, at all of


“Are all children created equal

One a story, one a sequel, the

Womb from which they come?

A mother looks down upon her

Child with fondness and


One in harshness and rejection

One child’s fate lingers on earth

Another quickly taken at birth

Some struggle some are blest

Others receive no rest

With a conscience pricked

From a hand too strict”***

It is a mystery, all of this

Well, forgive me God for

Not understanding

I’ll just leave it in your

Hands knowing you know


I’m running out of time

Here it is already the day

After the first day of the year

I know there are errors in

This letter but that’s alright

You don’t expect perfection

When emotions run high

Sometimes it is cathartic

To write

‘But never with cursing’

The sun is shining today

I will walk my dog

Come home and have

A cup of tea

And leave it all up to You

Rather than me!

***This is a quote from my poem ‘Children Of The Womb’

In the book ‘Unshaken’

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