Even midst the tragic things that have happened
This year, we were able to pull out our decorations.
And lose ourselves in our celebrations. Just for
Awhile the focus has been joyful and happy.
Sometimes it seems after all the excitement has
Ended, there is a time of letting down,
It is called the aftermath of Christmas blues, and
With the new year just around the corner, it is a time
For reflection…
The first and the third day of the first month
Are the anniversaries
Of the birth of two significant losses in my life…
Not a good time to have lost loved ones, but then is
There ever a ‘good’ time?
Here is a reflection…
A year ago we all had hope
As the year 2019 came to a close
Now in the ending of 2020 our
Prayers ascend for a better one
To come
The gloss and glitter are packed in
Their box
The candles are spent, their flame
Quenched
Gifts are exchanged, the fun is
Over and now New Years Eve is
Come upon us
Where the Christmas tree shone
It is empty of lights
Quiet after all the company has
Come and gone…
And now I am not sure what to do
As the hours approach bringing
In the new
Maybe watch a movie?
Or just go to bed early, waiting for the
Night to pass?
Or I could write a letter
So God, I guess I’ll write a
Letter to you…
You know there is a lot on my mind
A time for reminiscing
Memories of things I would rather
Have forgotten
My reasonings are not safe
My questionings are not good
I’m tempted to fall into repinings
And grief…
I had three but one is missing
My heart is thankful for the
Two remaining
But Lord didn’t you have
Ninety and nine, but for that one
that was lost
You searched and could not find
You never gave up till you brought
Him home?
Excuse my questionings
But like Job of old who had many
More losses, than ever foretold
questioned Your
Goodness but never with cursing
And then there is mine
You know how I stepped out in
Faith
For him I gave all but he couldn’t
Stay
He fled away
And now he is gone
Lord this lays heavy upon my
Heart…
As I look about my neighborhood
Just two doors down
And watch little Isabel, just seven
Years old, her sister and two
Brothers, playing in the street
Oblivious to the fact, that they
Are not in the best of a healthy
Family
She reminds me of me when I was
Her age, unkempt hair, barefoot
And not the best clothes to wear
Their father is in jail
Where is their mother, no one
Knows nor do they really care?
CPS is now at the door, where
Now will they go is anyone’s
Guess?
And then their is Johnny,
Down the street and to the right
His hair is trimmed, his clothes
Sewn by a caring mother
Every week they go to church…
I wonder God, at all of
This
“Are all children created equal
One a story, one a sequel, the
Womb from which they come?
A mother looks down upon her
Child with fondness and
Affection
One in harshness and rejection
One child’s fate lingers on earth
Another quickly taken at birth
Some struggle some are blest
Others receive no rest
With a conscience pricked
From a hand too strict”***
It is a mystery, all of this
Well, forgive me God for
Not understanding
I’ll just leave it in your
Hands knowing you know
Best
I’m running out of time
Here it is already the day
After the first day of the year
I know there are errors in
This letter but that’s alright
You don’t expect perfection
When emotions run high
Sometimes it is cathartic
To write
‘But never with cursing’
The sun is shining today
I will walk my dog
Come home and have
A cup of tea
And leave it all up to You
Rather than me!
***This is a quote from my poem ‘Children Of The Womb’
In the book ‘Unshaken’
Donna's Poetry Blog 