‘Reflections of a forgiving child’One who desires to share her story
I think some of us are tempted to question
The timely events in our lives, why things
Come about, and not sooner than when we
Thought they should.
As a child I had been brought up to just
Accept things as they were, hoping they
Would get better. But they never seemed
To be resolved.
My mother was a flighty person, moving
In and out of the chaos
And confusion she had woven in her life,
She had been damaged and suffered
Much emotional mental illness.
Then I remember clearly the time when
I was interrupted from a childhood of
Acceptance to one of adolescence, when
I could no longer tolerate her behavior.
And anger and resentment began
To fill my heart. I spent much time
Wondering why I had been given a mother
When I began recovery, I remember the
First night, when it was revealed why I had
Turned away, and realized the trauma she had
Received from abuse in her life as well. It had just
Been carried through to mine also. There was
A reason for her neglect, and thus started
Years of working through the issues I had
I wondered why these things were not revealed
Much earlier, and I had been given a chance
To reconcile with my mother before she had died.
‘Remembrance Of A Mother‘“Her mother had been abused
Who is this mother we have laid to rest?
Poor helpless soul who wandered this
Earth, not knowing or caring where she
She took her child along for the journey,
Who at times did not know where she
Would lay her head.
With emotions held in and warned not
To cry, always hoping she would be loved
If things got better.
Now death has taken her mother, and she
Has gone to sleep. No longer tormented
With emotions so deep, guilt and sorrow
No longer her’s to keep, removed forever,
To Rest In Peace.
But remember child, she did not have the
Tools to help you to survive. She could not
Fulfill the role, you became the mother and
She the child.
Oh, where do I look for a nurturing
Mother? Could it be, that God is as much
A mother as He is a Father to me?
And then a clearer picture I saw, as I
Wrestled with the why’s and how’s
Of the mysteries beset on the journey
Of life. Perhaps if I had been given a
Mother that I had always hoped for, I
Would not have reached out for
Our Lord at the cross, remembered His
Mother. And I know He remembers all
Mothers here on earth, He understands
Why some are neglectful and unable to
Fulfill their roles, and gives their children
The choice and desire to understand and
“When Jesus saw His mother…John 19:26:27
He remembered her”