A Little Girl’s Wish

‘Reflections of a forgiving child’

One who desires to share her story
with others!

I think some of us are tempted to question

The timely events in our lives, why things

Come about, and not sooner than when we

Thought they should.

As a child I had been brought up to just

Accept things as they were, hoping they

Would get better. But they never seemed

To be resolved.

My mother was a flighty person, moving

In and out of the chaos

And confusion she had woven in her life,

And mine.

She had been damaged and suffered

Much emotional mental illness.

Then I remember clearly the time when

I was interrupted from a childhood of

Acceptance to one of adolescence, when

I could no longer tolerate her behavior.

And anger and resentment began

To fill my heart. I spent much time

Wondering why I had been given a mother

Like this.

When I began recovery, I remember the

First night, when it was revealed why I had

Turned away, and realized the trauma she had

Received from abuse in her life as well. It had just

Been carried through to mine also. There was

A reason for her neglect, and thus started

Years of working through the issues I had

Endured.

I wondered why these things were not revealed

Much earlier, and I had been given a chance

To reconcile with my mother before she had died.

‘Remembrance Of A Mother‘

“Her mother had been abused
and forgotten”

Who is this mother we have laid to rest?

Poor helpless soul who wandered this

Earth, not knowing or caring where she

Was led.

She took her child along for the journey,

Who at times did not know where she

Would lay her head.

With emotions held in and warned not

To cry, always hoping she would be loved

If things got better.

Now death has taken her mother, and she

Has gone to sleep. No longer tormented

With emotions so deep, guilt and sorrow

No longer her’s to keep, removed forever,

To Rest In Peace.

But remember child, she did not have the

Tools to help you to survive. She could not

Fulfill the role, you became the mother and

She the child.

Oh, where do I look for a nurturing

Mother? Could it be, that God is as much

A mother as He is a Father to me?

And then a clearer picture I saw, as I

Wrestled with the why’s and how’s

Of the mysteries beset on the journey

Of life. Perhaps if I had been given a

Mother that I had always hoped for, I

Would not have reached out for

Something better!

~~~~

Our Lord at the cross, remembered His

Mother. And I know He remembers all

Mothers here on earth, He understands

Why some are neglectful and unable to

Fulfill their roles, and gives their children

The choice and desire to understand and

Forgive them!

“When Jesus saw His mother…
He remembered her”

John 19:26:27