A new year’s letter

With the holidays nearing their end, sometimes
there is a time of letting down, with an emptiness
within, that could be called the aftermath of Christmas blues.
* * * * *
And with a new year just around the corner
it is a time for reflection.
The third day of the first month of the new
year is the anniversary of the birth of a significant
loss in my life.
* * * * *

All is quiet after the company has come and gone, and I’m not
sure what to do on this eve of a new year.
Maybe watch a movie or just go to bed early, waiting for
the night to pass?
Or I could write a letter –
You know there is a lot on my mind, a time for memories
of things I would rather have forgotten. My reasonings
are not safe, my thoughts are not good and I’m tempted
to fall into grief and repinings.
I had three but one is missing, my heart is thankful for the
two remaining.
But Lord, did you not have ninety and nine, but for the one
lost sheep You searched, until you found him?
You never gave up until You brought him home!
Excuse my questioning, but like Job of old who had many
more losses, questioned Your goodness
but never with cursing.
And then there is mine, You know for him I gave my all
but he couldn’t stay and fled away and now he is gone.
This lays heavy upon my heart,
why some are taken and some are left.
Its been a long road of grief and pain, as I have struggled
with doubt and tried not to complain. I do feel better now that I have
shared these words, and with the new year fast
My prayer is for acceptance, that You know best!”

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