7-7-11

A short series on grief and acceptance, not necessarily in order
for the steps of grief and recovery rarely are. . .

There are different meanings for the number 711!
One is the popular [Angel 711] meaning that you
need to let go of the past,
forgive others and yourself. Some consider it a
lucky number, but for me it is an ominous number.!

I wrote the following, 11 years ago on this day after
a calamitous loss.
The following is a very short synopsis of a painful journey
over twists and turns, over mountains and grievous thoughts. . .

It was never thought to happen
One of those things that happens
to someone else but never to her

A forbidding call she is shaking
a child missing never
returning

To stay or go she is wondering
desiring to journey along with him

Watching him grow, playing and
laughing, always hoping and
praying his life would be
happy and lasting

Mother and son no longer bonding
one night
deciding, seeming
to be best, it would be loving, it is just too
much, such awful thoughts

9 months carrying him, body feeding
him, a womb providing a room for
him to grow in

This is a testing, thoughts increasing
nothing is helping, can’t explain the
feelings, hoping this is passing, there is
blaming, there is shaming

Back and forth driving, twists and turnings
dogs vomiting, not to be late she is
hurrying, careful the right road taking

Road construction frustrating, depression
visiting, mind spinning, she is withdrawing
obituary disturbing, this kind of death
met with frowning, eulogy confusing

She is stopping, the man is helping
his kindness endearing, storms withdrawing
passages protecting, comfort finding

Friends consoling, medications helping
eyes slowly opening, ears hearing
tears no longer weeping

Birds singing, sun shining, flowers blooming
shadows lifting, she is talking she is writing
on paper speaking, mourning turning to
consoling * *