the empty room…

A continuing series on grief and acceptance

After tragedy and loss the body holds memories
sympathizing with the
mind, which seems to compartmentalize
suppressing thoughts and emotions. Numbness is a safety shield, dealing with pain, for to deal with it all at once is overwhelming. It takes time to grieve, to gradually make the decision to walk away.
Letting go is not in our timing. I’ve found it repetitious, like moving from one room to
another, with conflicting messages . . .

Each time I walk into this room it is strangely quiet
bare and empty, but for a few pieces of old furniture
old and worn
the windows are closed without a breath of air, tired
and lonely from memories and cares it has refused to
share


It is in mourning, quiet and still, it portrays a lack of
honesty and wears a costume of despair
whenever I venture in it is hard to leave, locked inside
with its loneliness and self defeat


One day I looked in a room beside it with some
pictures on the wall, and little things began to happen
giving a clue, the two rooms were slowly coming
together, shifting their weight, holding each other

Little urges appeared
gradually pulling the drapes, allowing the
light to diffuse the darkness, from starless nights
and sunless days

Knocking on the door, I am reluctant to go in
but gathering courage, I offer to help with this room
perhaps I could share
a bed, a dresser with sheets of peace and a blanket
of comfort and a chest of hope
windows with curtains, cleaning with a little
water and soap

With a welcoming spirit it invites me in, now we
are not just a room but a house of our own!

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