Passions

“And I quote David Ansen, because I suspect he speaks
for many audience members who entered the theatre
in a devout or spiritual mood and emerged deeply
disturbed, this is one of the most violent movies I
have seen”

Roger Ebert

Its been just short of two decades ago, at Easter time, when one
of the most questionable movies was released, that stunned
the world with violent scenes of brutality and graphic images.

‘The Passions Of The Christ’ was witnessed by many in horror
at the cruelty toward an innocent man, depicting the last twelve
hours of his life, tortured and crucified. What was the reason
for a Man to be beaten and presented as a spectacle to the world?

Many were perplexed and wondered why? Had the producer
forgotten to include, that Christ’s love for us took Him to the cross?

That we would be delivered from the feelings we struggle with
from abuse and injustice, thinking no one cares, that

He willingly took our torments upon Himself, that we may be
delivered and spared!


Why did it happen,

why did we not stop

the cruel acts?

Did the threats

Intimidate us?

But, “we have been abused”

We cry, “those that violated

Our bodies and minds, we

Took on as our fault, the sins

Of the perpetrator has eaten

Away at our hearts.”

Our dark secrets haunt us at

Night, our pillows are drenched

With tears, having taken the

Burden upon ourselves, but it

Is just too heavy to bare

In self reproach, beating our

Backs with a whip, each

Strike of flagellation trying

Ever trying, to pay the price.

There once was a Man that

Experienced this pain as we

In humiliation and scourging,

He hung upon a tree.

His robe torn from His body,

His loincloth removed, a

Spectacle to the world, in

Shame and humiliation.

Stricken and despised by all

He identifies with us.

Soldiers taunting as He hung

In ignominy and disgrace,

Bickering over His garments

With tainted money.

Beaten with a rod, His back

Mutilated with cuts and

Abrasions, He took on our

Futile attempts to deliver

Ourselves.

Lacerations from a crown

Of thorns pressing upon His

Head, blood flowing upon His

Breast.

Nails driven through the palms

Of His hands, one day becoming

Scars of reminders of His love

For us.

Women and children are

Comforted in violence, for they

Have an Advocate.

Our appetites and passions, our

Molestations He has born,

Tasting the bitter wine, spewing

It from His mouth, giving power

To the addicted that they may

Be released, throwing the bottle

In the street.

The cry of the crowd is heard,

“Crucify Him”as he hung on the

Cross.

The noonday sun rising in its

Circuit, now darkened, defying

It’s ever presence across the

Heavens, He cries “Father forgive

Them for they know not what they

Do”

Giving us the desire to forgive our

Assassins and demons too.

In the wilderness of sin he denied

Himself bread, tempted of the

Devil, given to prayer instead.

Desolate and forlorn when his

Followers fled, he understands

When we are left alone.

Taking our punishment upon

Him, for all of these things

He has given power to God’s

Sons and daughters, for there is

Not a sin that He has not forgiven!

Passover

March 27th, as the holy Sabbath hour begins, the feast of the Passover,
A sacred holiday among the Jewish people, commemorates the story
of the Israelites departure from ancient Egypt, commanded by God,
that His people will always remember their deliverance from slavery.

Book of Exodus

“So this day shall be to you a memorial…to remind you
of your deliverance from the land of Egypt.

Exodus 12:14
The Feast of Unleavened Bread, matzah bread and red wine,
are served at a dinner called the ‘Seder’ which consists of special foods
representing symbols of the Israelites journey from Egypt.

“And they baked unleavened cakes of the dough
they had brought out of Egypt…”seven days you
you shall eat unleavened bread”

Exodus 12:39

“In that day I will set apart the land of Goshen
where my people dwell…I will pass over, that no
plague will come near their dwelling.”

Exodus 8:22

In the land of Egypt a pallor

Has spread

Death is imminent

All sits in darkness but the

Land of Goshen

Where God’s chosen people

Wait for deliverance

And so Moses took his staff in

Hand

For he had a plan to lead God’s

People out of this slavery land

Before Pharoah he cast

A rod, a serpent appeared,

Pharoah became scared

To this stubborn man, Moses said

“Let these people go,

Or pestilence and plague will

Come upon you and your own”

Then Moses struck the water

The River Nile turned to blood

Frogs invaded the Pharoah’s

Palace,

Into piles the frogs were heaped,

Dust was turned to lice and

Flies, flying upon man and beast

And all Pharoah’s people pled with

Him “let them go” but once

Again he would not answer

Until the angel of death struck

His son

Then this frightened man

Said “Into the desert wilderness

Take your children, that they may

Worship your God in heaven”

And so the Great Exodus began!

Multitudes of people were driven

From Egypt

Pharoah changed his mind after

They left

God was tired of his lies!

Following close behind he sought

The people, but this, God had

Forbidden

A large sea appeared, God split

It in two, on dry land His children

Passed through

On the other side they sang and cried –

“We have been saved, but

Pharoah and his army He cast into

The sea, the waters swallowed

Them and they all died”…

“Let this story be told to your children
for all generations!”

God’s Story Book!!!

“A Children’s Book Of Bible Stories!!! Five Star Review Recently Released!!!”

THE EASTERTIDE IS UPON US!!!
A BOOK OF INSPIRATIIONAL STORIES
CAPTIVATING THE CHILD’S ATTENTION!!!

“Spiritual Stories Beautifully Illustrated”

Geared for children of all ages, in a time when spiritually

Is waning, our children need a book of biblical characters

To give direction, courage and trust!

“Our Children Are Precious, Yearning For Something This World Cannot Offer”

Cults and Followers

Many Rely on Abuse And Shame

Something was brought to my attention recently,

That dredged up memories that I would rather had

Hoped been resolved. Some of us remember the

Horror stories of madmen that took their own power

In the name of religion. Jim Jones, David Karesh,

Along with other cults (perhaps not as blatantly

Defiant in the name of God as they) but never the less

Exercising abuse and control of their people, and every once in

Awhile popping up its ugly head in mainstream churches as well)

Nor has it only been narrowed to groups of minorities,

By any means.

This most recent one I have heard about has been around for

Years, now rapidly spawning into a similar group as the

Others, here and in other countries.**Same mind control,

child abuse, etc. that are wrapped in a package with a

Pretty bow, but when opened, it spews its tentacles

Drawing people in until they are captive and unable to

Free themselves from the cult activities.

And the frightful part is that there are more out there that

We are not aware of. They operate on shame and silence

To keep their members under control, threatening lives

If daring to leave.

Bringing up these issues, there is a paradigm effect

Of how I created my own unique set of cult activity,

Slowly preparing me for not a peaceful existence

For which I had so laboriously striven to procure.

In growing up I had no set of values, no healthy models

to mirror.

But I remember at an early age resolving to choose

A different path than the one I had traveled as a child.

But as it turned out, I found myself looking for a leader

To lead me and tell me what to do. Many do that, disenchanted

With life. And I was one of them!

Certainly not to blame the faith community I had chosen,

There were many good and upright principles in their approach

For salvation, which was the main object above all objects that

I so much desired.

It was like I set myself up for guidance and direction in all

My behaviors. I don’t know what instigated such strong

Desires, since our lives were without any sense of obligation.

(In looking back I know that it was placed in my heart from

Another One than myself)

The first requirement was to remove all makeup and jewelry

To dress plainly, that I may be a Godly spectacle to the

World. To always put others first, ministering to them.

Now please understand that this was not all comprised by

The leaders and members, and not to blame them. It was just

That that was how I perceived it.

I, in my pious way, would look to others instead of to God.

I remember looking to nuns and wondering if they had peace

That was a product of their pious ways. The only thing I

Lacked was a habit, which in those days were not delineated

To street wear as now allowed in the clerical field.

One alarming thing that all of these religious control

Issues had, was taking innocent children, and as this

Last group I have mentioned, breaking down their wills,

Even hitting them with sticks that they will show

Obedience to their parents and leaders. Inflicting upon

Them an already distorted view of a loving God,

instilling a need to practice acts of abuse to their

Bodies and minds, endeavoring to seek love

And exceptance. Blocking the realization

‘we are saved by grace and not of anything we

can do, it is a gift of God’

Now here is where the pain begins to be exemplified.

As a young mother, just beginning in my ruthless

Endeavors (not having physically abusing my children)

I ignored them, performing my meaningless rituals.

Trying to receive what had already been graciously provided.

But I could not comprehend it at that time.

Needless to say, my relationship with my children

Was devoid of a normal love between mothers and daughters

That many experience.

My nemesis of all of this, is that in all my efforts of

Escaping what I had experienced as a child,

Desiring above all else to see my children spared,

My approach had no values of its own, not making sense,

Like adding fuel to an already combusting fire.

It took many years to understand what I was doing, and

Then trying to reconcile, with demonstrative pleadings.

I can gratefully say they have been understanding, but while

In their process of understanding and forgiveness, I have had

To patiently wait, with much prayer.

That is often gifted to an abusive parent, humbling in its own way.

Even with no intention of creating this complicated set of events,

Hoping that the relationships long deferred will bring about

The fruits so long desired.

I have always had a serious problem with rejection, and

It has caused much grief, especially from a child, but the

Upside of all of this has brought me to a realization of

What it may have looked like to the child, the trauma she

Experienced, not just mine. And I feel a sense of relief

From the rejection I have struggled with, a weight has been

Lifted, one that has been borne a long time! This is truly

Amazing and well taken note! One other issue I must

Address is to not cowardly react when resentment appears

To me personally,

But to stand up for myself which has been a short coming

Of mine.

This has not been well critiqued, written from an emotional

Point of view, there may be repetitive usage of words and

Experiences.

**The Yellow Deli Cult

The Children’s Requiem


We have survived the winter, March is ushering in the first day of spring,
Signs in the earth are just appearing. One of the first flowers to appear are violets.
They remind me of little children buried in the earth soon to come forth.
Children are resilient and forgiving, though sometimes abused and forgotten.



Crushed violets lie withered
Pressed to the ground
Trodden under foot by humanities boot
All is silent not a sound
Lavender and blue covered with dew
Each petal bruised
Leaves of green streaked with brown
Bleed from the offenders frown
Oh, little ones asleep in your tombs, you have died
Only to rise again


“One of my favorite quotations “Forgiveness is the fragrance that

the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it”

Mark Twain
“Blue Violets Crushed To The Ground”
A Requiem Of Notes Are Gathered Together, As Children Raise Their Voices In Song

Those who learned to dance and sing, in spite of the trials this earth brings, they have heard the call “Let the children come unto Me” All those who have risen from sleep, are reborn and set free!

“A new song we will sing unto Him”

Psalm 144:9

Another companion lost?

“If Two Lie Down Together They Will Keep Warm”

It seems when one thing breaks down,

Wouldn’t you know, something else decides

To too?

In my post on the traveling mattress,

I shared the story of the deflated mattress,

That I had to replace.

Well now the electric blanket has begun to

Give out.

I found myself waking up last night off and on,

With coldness, seeking warmth from the other

Side.

Thankfully that dual control was still working!

There is a verse that says

“If two lie down together they

Will keep warm, but how

Can one be warm alone?”**

Well, here again, will I have to

Give up another companion so

Soon,

Replacing my warm blanket as well?

But mean while I will move to this

Side and we’ll see how

Long this one will last!_

**The Book Of Ecclesiastes

Chapter 4:11

A book of Wisdom

Well Seasoned

The Seasons Of Life Come In Several Different Flavors

Some sweet, some bitter, some bland, but they all

Come together with –

A pinch of this and

A pinch of that

For what is an egg without

Salt

A pie with no sugar

A stew without pepper

Dough without yeast

Forever kneading?

The Embryo Of The Egg Has Much Potential

For reproduction, to carry on life until it is cooked

Boiled, scrambled or fried

Then it has died

Thoughts Are Like Churning Butter

Slippery and insoluble, incapable of being solved or

Explained, just as confusing as deciphering the

Difference between soluble and trans fats

As butter clogs the arteries, the thoughts clog the brain

To try to understand them is in vain

When one thought starts churning, a state of unrest

Begins

Agitating with increased speed, the center about

Which it revolves

Collecting oily globules that resist any understanding

And indigestible by the natural mind in its rightful

State

Until it forms a mind of its own, creating two minds

At war with each other

Why all this confusion that continues on and on?

When the thought is brought to mind, there is no

One to blame

This is a process of its own, of which I am powerless

To explain!

But In All Things Sweetness Overrules!

The Traveling Mattress

“An Old Bedstead, Splintered And Worn”

It finally came to its end, the heavy weight

It could no longer bare.

Yesterday I finally made the

Decision to remove my mattress,

I won’t say how long

I have had it. It was one of those air beds

That have remote controls to inflate it.

I have moved several different

Places in the last few years

Taking it along.

When the right side started

Sinking and would not respond

To the inflater, I moved to the

Other side, hoping to extend its

Life quite a bit longer.

And then on the other side it began

To sink and I finally had

To say goodbye to a friend that had

Been with me through my highs and

Lows.

In all our travels this mattress was faithful,

To the many places we have been.

In thinking about its

Presence, my protector,

I realized how it had held me

Through my many losses well

But with all the abuse, it was

Just too heavy to carry on.

It had listened to my dreams, holding

My pillow below my head, listeneing

To my fears, my anger and rage,

My prayers and regrets.

With its comforter warming

My body ravished

With harm,

Protecting me from the enemy,

Repelling it’s attacks

It bore a lot of fears and held my tears,

Holding my memories tight.

Is it hard to say goodbye to

Something like that, waiting

In the garage to go to trash?

Should I perform the last rites?

Who would attend, the only friend it

Had was me, until

It gave up its life.

Each of us have been given a

Different bed to sleep in,

Some good and some bad.

****

Living around mining towns,

I often have walked where

People have left their artifacts.

One I came across, was an

Old bedspring that had held a mattress.

It was rusted, and weeds had

Grown between the coils.

I was unable to pry a few loose to take

Home as a trophy for

All the hard work it had entailed.

I wondered about those springs and

Who they had held.

Had a newly wed pair conceived a child.

Or perhaps several more? How many

Bodies of the past, with dreams and

Confusions, tossing and turning in delusion.

Or perhaps held someone with an illness

With their last breath?

How long was the corpse to remain,

Before the undertaker came?

Did it set by the hearth holding an old

Woman, reminiscing, knitting and

Anticipating, of the last

Few years remaining?

Could it have held an old wooden

Bed frame splintered and warn?

I wish I could have taken them

Home and polished them up,

But some things cannot be

Retouched, they must stay as they are.

Hopefully another will come by and

Wonder as I, I must just let it lie.

I’ll say my goodbyes to

My friend of the past, and hope

My new mattress will be as good

As the last!

A Time To Be Born

“To Everything There Is A Season”

Having recently celebrated a birthday, I found myself wondering

When and how they began. Their celebrations did not always exist.

Before the advent of the calendar they were unable to record the

Time of birth or the day.

The earliest mention of a birthday, according to Biblical scholars, was

Around 3,000 BC, in reference to a Pharaoh’s birthday. But further

Study implies, that this was not in reflection of their birth into this

World, but their birth as a god.

It all started with the Egyptians, then the Greeks embraced the day,

But only for men!

It is believed the first birthday cake began in Germany, a coarse

Bread of the Middle Ages, later becoming a sweeter version. Only

The well to do were able to celebrate, as the poor could not afford

It.

In the 17th century the cake became more elaborate with icings

And decorations.

In the 18th century cakes became more affordable, and many

Were then able to participate in the celebration.

The history of the candles on the cake began in Ancient Greece.

The glow of the moon they worshipped, with the smoke of the

Candles ascending with prayers to their gods in the skies.

Now, the candle is placed upon the cake to represent the

Light and life of each year given to us.

In Christianity the emphasis is on a spiritual rebirth from the

Earthly womb, becoming a child of God.

“To everything there is a season

A time to be born and a time to die”*

We all are born of an earthen

Womb

In chaos and confusion

Cast into earth’s waters of

An angry sea

Oh half womb, wombed in its time

Conceived in a silver

Luminous moon

In a pierced cavity

A baby spilling out

I Am A Woman Now!

Dressed in fine filament

With an

Incandescent sheen

Buoyed by the

Waves, seeking eternity

In ceaseless motion

My hair swept back

By the rush of winds

Two wet eyes crying

Oceans of tears

In a bed of water

Diving for pearls of

Wisdom, finding

Only bubbles of air

My only resort is prayer

Reaching the shores of

Placid waters

An extended Hand with

Mine, grasps each other

To be born twice is

Heaven’s plan!

Scripture of reflection

Isaiah 43:2

“When you pass through deep

waters, I am with you”

*Book Of Ecclesiastes

It was August 3rd, 2010…

At three o’clock in the morning, I was awakened by a sound

In the window. I got up and prayed for my

Niece, Kim, who was seriously ill. That morning

I text my brother, Kim’s father, and told him what

Had happened. He shared with me that he also

Was awakened at three o ‘clock by the sound of a

Window opening, and knelt to pray…

Kim was healed! Thus started the

Beginning of a series of events, that truly prove

The efficacy of God’s word.

I had recorded this event in my journal which

Has a scripture prayer for each day. On this

Particular day it was –

“Be still before the Lord

And wait patiently for Him

Psalm 37:7

The second event in claiming this verse was

In the year 2002 –

My husband came into the kitchen with a

Small calendar that had a scripture for

Each day. He was not a Christian but for

Some reason he was impressed to read

This same verse, Psalm 37:7, to me.Two days

Later he was dead. I know he was

Prompted by God’s Spirit and he was

Saved!

The next event was in 2019-

Kim was diagnosed with breast cancer, a

Serious malignancy which required intense

Chemotherapy. The day after, I was going through

Some journals in a book shelf, and I casually

Pulled one out and to my surprise the

Journal fell open to the page with the

Same verse I had recorded for Kim 10 years ago.

Miraculously after a year of intense

Chemotherapy she was diagnosed cancer

Free!

Now, in August of last year, Kim’s mother

Began to feel ill, after suffering the loss of

Her Son-law, Curt, Kim’s husband in June.

A terrible loss for Kim and all the family.

So needless to say I began claiming this

Verse that had such redeeming qualities in all

The previous sufferings we have experienced.

After many challenging batteries of tests

Cathy, Kim’s mother was diagnosed with

Non Hodgkin’s Lymphoma and with the

Doctor’s certainty, the tests would validate

That the cancer had spread.

Yesterday Cathy returned to the doctor’s

Visit, and the doctor could not believe what

She saw, and In amazement she shared the

Good news, not one hot spot appeared.

Not an aggressive form, she will only need

Antibody infusions, to reduce an enlarged

Spleen, and no CHEMO!

As the Sabbath hours are descending on this

Hectic week of anticipation, this family will

Enter into His rest!