Many a night I lay awake waiting for her to come home, constantly looking at the clock, with frightening sounds from the terror of night, as if death was about to take me!
A gust of wind came through the window!
The clock on the mantel struck half past ten, the hour to retire for most women and men. I listened to the clock, heard a knock on the door, I looked, no one was there. Half past two, still awake with nothing to do. Half past four I fell asleep, forgetting the mother I had expected, to come through the door. A gust of wind blew through the window, death came in with a shroud on his face. He came to take me, not yet was my plea, I have more to do, much to undo. Death agreed to let me stay, gathering his cloak and went on his way. Suddenly I awoke, knowing this was just a dream! The reality of this dream was positive, in that though death was upon me, and had come to take me, I refused to go, knowing I needed time to finish what God had planned for me to accomplish.
~~~ There was a man centuries ago that experienced similar night time disturbances
~~~ Job expressed in his words “In disquieting thoughts from the vision of the night, when deep sleep falls on men” Job 4:1
There are many things to be grateful for this Eastertide, delivered from our pains and sorrows of the past, our abuse and shame, receiving new life!
Are we the only ones that have lived in shame, in our abuse, agony and pain? Why did it happen? Why did we not stop the cruel acts? Did the threats intimidate us? “But we have been abused” we cry Those that violated our bodies and minds we took on as our fault, the sins of the perpetrator has eaten away at our hearts Our dark secrets haunt us at night our pillows drenched with tears, having taken the burden upon ourselves, but it is just too heavy to bare, trying ever trying to pay the price
There once was a man that experienced this pain as we, in humiliation and scourging He hung upon a tree His robe torn from his body, His loincloth removed, a spectacle to the world He identifies with us Nails driven through the palms of His hands, one day becoming scars of reminders of His love for us Our appetites and passions He bore tasting the bitter wine spewing it from His mouth giving power to the addicted that they may be delivered too Crying “Father forgive them for they know not what they do” giving us the desire to forgive our assassins and demons too Denying himself bread, tempted of the devil given to prayer instead Desolate and forlorn when his followers fled, He understands when we are left alone Taking our punishment upon Him, for all of these things He has given power to God’s sons and daughters, for there is not a sin that He has not forgiven!
It is interesting how a child develops an understanding of God. Parents are the leading roles in their life, having an impact on their little minds. They are resilient, even though the image of a father or mother is not always portrayed as loving and kind. A little child’s faith is always promised.
Father of lights do you live In the sky?
Not with your children In darkness below?
Do you look out your Window from your Home on high
At the sun in the Morning light?
Are you the man in The moon, shining Moonbeams on the Stars at night?
To see how far they Will fly?
You are so far I Can’t jump that high!
Or maybe ride on a Kite but it won’t fly That high!
If I could, I would see Where you live
If I get there God Would you let me in With my darkness And sin?
It seems such a long Way between You and I
Some say You are light Would You be too bright To look upon?
I don’t understand what It really means But it says You are Loving and kind!
So I will bid You Goodnight and thank You for light, however It comes!
“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights”