Sheep Safely Grazing

“A Lovely Pastoral Scene”

A famous German composer, during the Baroque period of

The early 1700’s, composed a piece often played at weddings.

“Johann Sebastian Bach”

“Sheep may safely graze and pasture

In a watchful Shepherd’s sight.

Those who rule with wisdom guiding

Bring to hearts a peace abiding

Bless a land with joy made bright.”

“We seem to stray from the fold of safety, but upon
His lambs there is ever a Watchful Eye”

A lovely pastoral scene,

It inspired me to write a story

In a secular verse.

A lost lamb in an arid land

How it had wandered far from

The flock.

Timid and shy, unable

Its way from danger back.

The ravine between

Deep and confining

Its cry bleating then slowly fainting.

The sheep in safety still abiding”

Following their shepherd

Wherever he leads them.

Upon a midnight’s sleep,

Awakening, counting his sheep

Venturing into the night,

For one was missing.

Oh, children upon earth

Like wandering lambs,

Searching for a Shepherd

In a land of danger, suffering the

Hand that harms them

The Lamb of God with an

Ever watchful eye attends,

His rod and staff

Securely leads them.

Their bruises and hurts, their minds

And hearts with oils He soothes

With righteousness and truth

Smoothing their paths

Spreading a table before their foes

Their cup overflows

In the valley of death they do not fear

For in the house of their

Lord there is no despair

A room to hold them in that great

Mansion He has prepared, dwelling

Forever.

“The rod and staff leads them”

Read more at: www.donnaspoetry.com

Last Night’s Dream

“A Belfry Tower Sits High Above”

With the Pandemic seeming to heighten and many more taking

Masks and social distancing seriously, there is fear, for no one

Knows what is to come. Ironically, we have no where to go,

Our houses of worship, normally offering our need to have

Words of courage and hope, are unavailable. Doors are

Locked and we know not when they will reopen. The other

Day I saw a church sitting high on a hill and these words

Came to my mind –

Last night I had a dream,
of a house once full of light,
a belfry tower sits high above,
inviting all to come.
A home for all the weary and
contrite, a house full of praise
and joy.

In the second month of a new
decade, the year 2020,
many made a resolution
to have a better year than last,

when suddenly intervened,

for a great pandemic has
struck,
spreading across the earth.

Churches, temples and synagogues
here and abroad

are suddenly closed and locked.
Pews once full of people now
are empty.

No rest and peace are found.
The wavering candle’s flame
has been extinguished,

light shadowed with
darkness, where now shall we go
to worship?
But are we not God’s temple
dwelling within us, serving
one another? Lifting each other
when we fall? Doing His will
honoring Him…
We are given hope in God’s word,
though we may not have
a temple or a church to worship
now…

*Quoting the vision given to John
the Revelator,
“But I saw no temple in the city…
It had no need of the sun or the
moon to shine on it, (for there shall
be no night there) the Lord God is its
light…
And the gates are never locked!

Revelation Chapter 21 in God’s Word

Read more at: www.donnaspoetry.com







Ideation To Intervention

“Negative Thoughts Can Be Intervened With
Positive Ones”

As I mentioned in my last few posts, this is a challenging

Time. The death of my son occurred in the month of July.

He took his life, and with much grief I have tried to work

Through the ravaging effects it has left on myself and my

Family.

Two years after this I attempted to also take mine. The

Frightening thing about this is it came on suddenly, I

Did not plan it. I remember the day before I had stood at

The doctor and therapists office with the thought if they

Did not help me I did not know how I would ever make it.

I went home with a despair that I had no idea I had.

The next day something clicked in my head, reaching

For a bottle of pills, I locked my dogs in my apartment, and

Headed for the store, where I bought a bottle of wine,

Which was out of the ordinary, for I never drink, and then

Drove up a lonely road.

There is a name for thoughts of suicide ideation, but I did

Not plan this at this time.

When my son was found, it hit with such force that at

That time I did have the thoughts but was unable to

Complete them. They say that when someone does

Complete the act, it has an enormous effect on family and

Friends. It can cause a cluster effect.

I had many times in the past wish I could die, and

Wondered on occasion why I didn’t. As a young girl

My mother and I were standing on a corner waiting

For a bus and I fainted. I had cut my leg (by accident)

On a rusty nail and I had hid it from my mother, I

Had blood poison, and by all rights I should have died.

I think all of us can look back on incidences that

Should have taken us but by some force we were

Spared. I remember driving down a steep grade and

The brakes went out. Again I was spared. I believe

God intervened in the times we were spared, for

There was a plan to use us in ways we before hand

Did not understand.

I have written a couple of poems to relate my experience

With this ugly illness.

~~~~

Intervention

It was a sudden decision, a force

Grabbed my mind, to all things

On earth I was blind.

I was done!

A warm summer evening, with

Beauty all around, that I would

Never again look upon.

A bottle of pills and a bottle of

Wine would do this job just fine.

Driving up the road past homes

Of friends, I did not realize the pain

My decision would bring.

But this would only be for a time.

Friends would soon forget, I would

Be forgotten, as time went on.

The sun began to set, as I parked

The car on a far off road.

My last night on earth, taking

One more look, shadows lingering

Upon the hills. I twisted the cork,

Tipping the bottle to my lips,

Taking the bottle of pills, with one

More look at the lavender hills.

Falling asleep, death would be a

Sweet release.

Suddenly I awoke to the sound of

Words, I was placed on a stretcher,

They were trying to keep me alive.

I was angry, “why God was I not

Taken, did You have something

Else in mind, did I try to stop my

Clock, just for You to rewind?”

This was my intention, but He had

Plans of intervention. The answer

To this question would come in

Time.

Read more at: www.donnaspoetry.com

RELEASED

“I Am Released From The Hospital, Back Into The World Of Obstacles”

…after purchasing the bottle of wine, I drove my short journey

To a remote area thinking no one would be around. Turning

The car off, there is a stillness, a perfect place to bring my

Life to an end. To end the grief and agony I had been enduring.

I unscrewed the cork and bottle of pills and took them all,

Then fell asleep.

I was partially awakened by a woman at the window,

Appearing from no where, then once again falling

Asleep…

The ride in the ambulance took me to a hospital.

Now I was not my own, for when a person attempts to hurt

Themselves or another, endangering their life, they are put

On a seventy two hour hold, placed in a facility, and then begins

An intense regimen of a continuous round of group therapy, private

Counseling and doctors prescribing psychotic drugs.

I had become separated from myself, not understanding that

I was running from the innermost part of me that was struggling to

Exist, desperately trying to hold on, but the opposition of two

Forces within was almost more than I could bare. I was oblivious

To the fact that I was not alone, God saw me in this wretched

State, and was not about to leave me there…

The door closes behind me, I

Am released from the hospital,

Back into the world of obstacles.

I feel the warm sun on my skin,

Breathing fresh air, hearing the sounds

Of cars as they speed by, the sound

Of an airplane,

The whistle of the train, people

Moving back and forth trying to

Survive.

Will I succeed in facing the world

With nerves on edge from medication

And sedation?

I have reservations as I leave this

Place…

With my stay, the space of time

Emptied into remoteness, days lost

Their existence.

The world had gone on without me,

Not knowing or caring why I had

Suddenly left for awhile. I had

Been placed among people who

Were very ill, struggling to survive

I did not quite understand their

Tight hold on life.

With my stay the days emptied

Into space.

Can I do this?

Can I make it in life?

Read more at: www.donnaspoetry.com

Ideation To Intervention

“A Bottle Of Wine And A Bottle Of Pills Would Do
This Job Just Fine”

As I mentioned in my last few posts, this is a challenging

Time. The death of my son occurred in the month of July.

He took his life, and with much grief I have tried to work

Through the ravaging effects it has left on myself and my

Family.

Two years after this I attempted to also take mine. The

Frightening thing about this is it came on suddenly, I

Did not plan it. I remember the day before I had stood at

The doctor and therapist’s office with the thought, if they

Did not help me I did not know how I would ever make it.

I went home with a despair that I had no idea what to do.

The next day something clicked in my head, reaching

For a bottle of pills, I locked my dogs in my apartment, and

Headed for the store, where I bought a bottle of wine,

Which was out of the ordinary, for I never drink, and then

Drove up a lonely road.

There is a name for thoughts of suicide, ideation, but I did

Not plan this at this time.

When my son was found, it hit with such force that at

That time I did have the thoughts but was unable to

Complete them. They say that when someone does

Complete the act, it has an enormous effect on family and

Friends. It can cause a cluster effect.

I had many times in the past wish I could die, and

Wondered on occasion why I didn’t. As a young girl

My mother and I were standing on a corner waiting

For a bus and I fainted. I had cut my leg (by accident)

On a rusty nail and I had hid it from my mother, I

Had blood poison, and by all rights I should have died.

I think all of us can look back on incidences that

Should have taken us but by some force we were

Spared. I remember driving down a steep grade and

The brakes went out. Again I was spared. I believe

God intervenes in the times we were spared, for

There was a plan to use us in ways we before hand

Did not understand.

I have written a couple of poems to relate my experience

With this ugly illness.

~~~~

Intervention

It was a sudden decision, a force

Grabbed my mind, to all things

On earth I was blind.

I was done!

A warm summer evening, with

Beauty all around, that I would

Never again look upon.

A bottle of pills and a bottle of

Wine would do this job just fine.

Driving up the road past homes

Of friends, I did not realize the pain

My decision would bring.

But this would only be for a time.

Friends would soon forget, I would

Be forgotten, as time went on.

The sun began to set, as I parked

The car on a far off road.

My last night on earth, taking

One more look, shadows lingering

Upon the hills. I twisted the cork,

Tipping the bottle to my lips,

Taking the bottle of pills, with one

More look at the lavender hills.

Falling asleep, death would be a

Sweet release.

Suddenly I awoke to the sound of

Words, I was placed on a stretcher,

They were trying to keep me alive.

I was angry, “why God was I not

Taken, did You have something

Else in mind, did I try to stop my

Clock, just for You to rewind?”

This was my intention, but He had

Plans of intervention. The answer

To this question would come in

Time.

Read more at: www.donnaspoetry.com

Acceptance

“I Tried To Climb The Ladder Of Grief”

I was fearful of the steps of grief, it was frightening

To face the thoughts and feel the pain –

I had tried everything else,

Trying to escape not able

To think.

Climbing the ladder of

Grief.

The steps do not always

Come in order.

Sometimes I slip, falling

Back on the rings of the

Others.

When it wavers and

Then begins to fall I

Hold on with dear life.

Treading on these steps

Thinking I have achieved

Then it suddenly changes.

My mind thinks in theory

Why can’t they all happen

At once?

And then I see

There are five stages in all

Denial

Anger

Bargaining

Depression

Acceptance

Of all these –

Acceptance

Is the answer to them all!

Read more at: www.donnaspoetry.com

The Number 7

“There Are Seven Colors In A Rainbow”

It seems that 7 is a perfect
Number –

7 days in a week, 6 days
plus one day of rest,

Makes a 7 day creation

Week

There are –

7 continents

7 colors in a rainbow

7 seas

7 planets

7 angels

(At least that’s what Google says)

7 years is slowly approaching

If you multiply 7 times 10

It could have been close to a

Lifespan for him

But if you cut it in half, it comes

Out close to 37

It happened on the 7th day in

The 7th month, much too

Soon,

But things happen !

Read more at: www.donnaspoetry.com

Grief

“With Many Tears I Traveled The Road Of Grief”

Nine years ago, in the month of July

An anniversary will take place.

Living in Nevada most of my life, I had

Decided to move, seeking something

Different, hoping to find peace and

Contentment. Little did I know, this was

Not to take place. For my son decided

He had had enough, and left this world

And a family who dearly loved him. The

News came in the middle of the night,

That call that wrings the heart in unbelief.

It was a twisting and turning on highway

88, as I traveled between the small town in

California to Reno, having to drive it several

Times with my two dogs, sick from the trip,

With many tears that almost blinded my sight.

Stopping at a roadside store for something

To eat, a kind man saw my plight, and rang

Up my bill then throwing it away, he wished

Me well. Just a simple act of kindness meant

So much. In looking back, kindnesses are

Met with thanksgiving. But I had a long

Journey of grief ahead, one that for a time would

Be forboding.

~~~

Six years, plus four months

Making seven, an event

Happened, it was never

Thought to happen, one of

Those things that happens to

Someone else, but never to

Her.

Call in the night forbidding,

She is shaking, for him looking,

A child missing never returning.

~~

To stay or go she is wondering,

It is perplexing.

Watching him grow, playing and

Laughing, always hoping, praying

His life would be happy and

Lasting.

Mother and son no longer bonding,

He is sleeping, waiting for the

Resurrection.

One night deciding, plight

Succumbing, seeming to be best,

It would be loving.

It is just too much, such awful

Thoughts resisting, nine months

Carrying, body feeding him.

A womb providing a room for

Him to grow in, a breast for

Suckling.

This is a testing, thoughts

Increasing, she is trying, nothing

Is helping.

Can’t explain the feelings, thoughts

Are reeling, hoping this is passing.

There is blaming, there is shaming,

Back and forth driving, twists and

Turnings.

Dogs vomiting , not to be late she is

Hurrying, careful the right road

Taking.

Road construction frustrating

Grief succumbing, mind spinning

Depression visiting.

Unconsoling, decisions baffling,

She is resisting, she is withdrawing

People dying, fears unresolving,

Obituary disturbing, words

Troubling, this kind of death met

With frowning

Eulogy confusing

~~~

She is stopping the man is helping

His kindness enduring, turnings in

The road directing.

Storms withdrawing, passages

Protecting, comfort finding, friends

Consoling, medication helping,

Sometimes lacking.

Eyes slowly opening, ears hearing,

Tears no longer weeping.

Birds singing, sun shining, flowers

Blooming, children sharing, shadows

Lifting, she is writing, on paper

Speaking.

Slowly resolving, process unfolding,

She is hoping, to all things resigning.

All things loving, doors are opening

Acceptance residing!

Poem written in 2005

Read more at: www.donnaspoetry.com

A Continuing Saga Of A Mining Town Girl

“Even Though There Was Anguish And Pain,
Her Dry Parched Land Would One Day
Be Delivered From Sadness And Shame”

…reaching the crest , the children

Are sick and they stop to rest.

Looking around, scrubby bushes

And stunted trees are all they see.

Day begins to close and darkness

Falls as they stop beside the road

Of this lonely land, unloading their

Meager supplies.

A kindling of fire sizzles as they

Heat a can of beans. Chores are easy

With some coffee to pour. The sun

Begins to sink as children go to sleep

With old army blankets from the car’s

Back floor.

Sounds of the desert are frightening

At night, with coyotes, rattlesnakes

And Great Horned owls. Stars are

Clearer here, a peaceful scene after

The smoggy skies of the city lights.

Night becomes restless and the

Children are scared, the man sits by

The fire drinking beer and gin then

Laughs and grins.

Morning brings more arguing, anger

And tears with mama, and the man

Puts on his hat and boots, walking

Down the road with his bottle of

Whiskey, waving goodbye with his

Shifty eyes. While all of this is

Going on, the children wonder

Where their father is. The sun’s

Warmth is welcomed, waking these

Migrants as they hasten on. The

Children have hungry stomachs

With no breakfast and all this havoc.

There is a vastness here, of dry creeks

And ravines. Clear blue skies host mean

Black birds circling high. Coming

Around a bend on this desolate road,

There is a little mining town, they have

Finally arrived. Barely a green thing

Grows here, except by the mill where

Water washes ore and dirt on the

Mining floor. There are people all

Around panning for gold, hoping to

Make it rich. Excited they run to and

Fro, one man wins and another owes

It hits their brain making them insane.

Not much of a town, main street has

A saloon and gambling hall mixed in

One. Mama will go there till the money

Is gone. She is always dealt a shady

Hand, then in her anger she hollers

And yells and tells them to go to hell.

The smell of hamburgers and French

Fries tantalize these travelers, but for

Now they will eat potatoes and beans.

On the windy road to this town there is

A castle, some of it falling apart, with

Ruins on the ground, but the walls

are standing. The girl and boy tries to

Play here and pretend they are kings

And queens. It is a safe place to be.

When they go to their mining shack

At night, they heat up a can of Dinty

Moore stew in an old iron pot.

A one room school has mean ornery

Kids, they don’t like these children and

Shame their dirty clothes and hair. But

After awhile the kids are nice, they

Play kick the can and eat honey

Grahams, and the children begin to

Like this place, then mama decides

She wants to move on, they head for the

Wide open spaces again. Back in the

Little coup, the girl isn’t sure where

She is going, with brother, Chow, and

Now a couple of kittens…

Another continuation of

‘Mining Town Girl’

Read more at: www.donnaspoetry.com

Mining Town Girl

“They Were Mining For Silver And Gold, But
Many More Treasures Were Found, Delivering Them From
This Dreary Land”

A story of a city girl, taken at at an early age,

To a strange land of dry dusty travels, sagebrush

And serpents, her journey was long and sad,

Little did she know this was preparing her for

a better land –

It is a rainy night in the city,

And all is still. Children are

Awakened and rushed to the

Car, not sure where they are.

This is a story told of a family’s

Quest for freedom and gold.

A mama, a sister, her brother and

Someone they don’t know. All

They know, he is not their father.

The travelers leave the city in

Their blue Chevy coup, as

Children peer out the window,

Kneeling on a pillow. Going west,

Travels are long, the car is small

And they are pressed. The sister

And her brother ride in the back

With their old black chow. Mama

And whoever he is , bicker and

Argue. There is a strange smell of

Liquor as he takes a swallow. Going

East, passing the desert floor, over

Dusty sands and hills beyond, unto

The high desert. Large mountains

Loom before them, as the car climbs

The twists and turns, higher and

Higher. Shadows of the Sierra’s fade

In the distance, coming to a land of

Lavender shaded hills and ravines.

Reaching the crest the children are

Sick and they stop to rest…it’s a long

Way from LA for this little girl, who

Will become a Mining Town Girl

A continuation of this story will follow…

Read more at: www.donnaspoetry.com