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Well, after my visit I went back
home and as usual we began moving
around from town to town,
schools had rules and I had to relearn
I got into trouble Daddy, when I came
back, I started chasing around, doing
stupid things that you can only do in a
mining town, with gambling, bars and
Those evil men did things to me that
were not right. Many times I was up all
night. Often there was no food.
Sometimes if I was lucky a can of Dinty
Moore Stew would do.
I’m so glad you didn’t know this, your heart
would have been broken in two, for all
your child went through.
But I wouldn’t be honest if I denied my
anger. Where were you when I needed
protection from danger?
But Daddy, you would have been proud
of me, I learned to survive.
It is amazing what children can do
when they try. I tried many things to
They were not the smart thing to do,
but it was all I knew.
I developed a set of rules to deal with
the craziness of things. I somehow got
through the years but there were many
I had difficulties with Mama. She was
unbearable to live with and I wanted
out of the trauma.
She kept going into those buildings with
flashing lights for hours. I stared in the
windows waiting for her to come out,
but she would never win those games
she played, even though she would go
I thought the way was to get married at
sixteen, and before you knew it I had
two babies living in a mining town.
But I knew in my heart I would never
raise them like me.
Well, this is pretty long and you have
bent your ear to hear this story.
You know Daddy, I really appreciate you
listening now, since you didn’t hear or
see me when I was a child.
Oh, and one thing I forgot to mention,
there will be mistakes in these letters,
since they are written from a little girl’s
even though I’m a grown up now.
I know you loved me Daddy, you just didn’t
know what to do, your illness kept us apart.
Well, I will visit you again soon, I have much
more to say to you!
Daddy, you were bombed last night.
I remember windows reflecting
Light, the morning after, as I quietly come
To see if you are alright. Hiding behind a
Newspaper, you are unable to look in
Your little girl’s eyes. Slowly moving to your
Side I want to say, “please, don’t send
Alcohol vapors from a glass sting my nose.
Oh Daddy, you were the one, with the
Clickety-click-click of the tongue and the
The crazy songs you sung. Where did Mama
Go? I think she got tired and left.
I remember her pouring water from bottles
Down the drain, but it had a funny smell,
I really couldn’t tell.
Who is this strange lady in your house?
The one wearing a negligee. You both
Swing and sway from room to room,
Then pass out on the bed. Sounds of
Heavy breathing are alarming, I am
Confused and don’t know what to do.
I begged you not to drink. I’m sorry I
Made you drink.
Well my visit with you is almost done,
And I will soon be sent away. Really
Daddy, will you send me back to
Those abusers and their evil ways?
Oh, I don’t understand, I didn’t
Think you loved me, but now I
Know you did, you were just too
Sick, you couldn’t do any better.
Oh, don’t make me leave, don’t make
Me go back to that smelly shack.
Your pungent smell of vinegar, cukes
And alcohol are better that that.
That fifth of whiskey made you awful
Thirsty, remember how you swerved
On those LA freeways, taking me to
The bus, not a word was said between
The roar of the engines and exhaust
Fumes, carried me to a place I would
Rather not go.
Well Daddy, I remember these things
Whether you do or not. So I am
Writing you some letters, in the hope
To be free of the pain they have
- ~This poem is based on a mental illness called
One metaphoric definition is ‘Like a sharp
Stone or stabbing pain in the shoe’
~~The stone in my shoe was small,
Hardly noticeable at all,
How it got there I did no know,
Over time it grew and broke in two,
Maybe if I got another pair of shoes
That would do,
Getting taller as I grew, my shoes got
Tighter my feet began to fester,
The smooth stone became sharper
Through life the stone crumbled
Into several stones building a wall,
Each building upon another,
Until the strain was just too much,
In vain I tried to build this wall
My brain kept telling me this
Is enough but I refused the help
That was offered,
It had no foundation I had rejected
Setting up my own system,
I began to hate the stones I used
And tried to remove them
But the more I did they seemed to
Then one day I felt buried beneath
I had hidden behind this wall so
Long I could not find a way out,
I was trapped,
The stones wrapping about me
with my calloused hands and
What would I ever do? When a
Thought came to my mind,
If it weren’t for the stone in all
Its imperfection causing this
- Duress that constantly happened,
I would not become refined
I would go through life thinking
I was fine,
But the stone in all its roughness
Had through fire and flame been
I then had to to romance it,
It became a polished stone!
A beautiful gem with a precious
Cornerstone as a sure foundation,
The prize of all my possessions!
*Book of Isaiah Chapter 28:16
Sent from my iPad
“I lost a lot of pieces in the diseases…how can I be putWords of a child once abused and forgotten
back together again?
- I am a grownup now with
A little girl’s heart
I offend easily so please
Don’t expect too much
I wish I could do what
You want, to be generous
With my heart
To be the person you want
Me to be
But I just can’t it has been
I cry, I weep, I tried to be
The best for your sakes
But I lost a lot of pieces in
How can I be put back
Maybe a little grease or a
Bottle of glue and some
Thinking this was the answer
To my damaged parts torn
I even tried to sew with a
Needle and thread, this is
Am I to fix a fractured body
I just can’t?
But there is One who can
Do what I can’t do
One that will bind my
Bruises and wounds and
Make me well again!
The clock on the mantle
Struck half past ten
The hour to retire for
Most women and men
I listened to the clock
Heard a knock on the door
I looked no one was there
Half past two still awake
With nothing to do
Half past four I fell asleep
Forgetting the mother I had
Expected to come through the
A gust of wind blew through
Death came in with a shroud
On his face
He came to take me
Not yet was my plea I have
More to do, much to undo
Death agreed to let me stay
He gathered his cloak about
Him and went on his way
I suddenly awoke knowing
This was just a dream!
- Father Of Lights
From a child’s perspective…
Oh Father of lights,
Do You live in the sky?
Do you look out Your
Window from your
Home on high?
At the sun in the morning
Are you the Man in the
Moon, shining moonbeams
On the stars
To see how far they will fly?
You are so far, I can’t jump
Or maybe ride on a kite
But it won’t fly that high
It seems such a long way
Between You and I
Some say you are light,
Would you be too bright to
I don’t understand what
It really means but it says
You are loving and kind
So I will bid You goodnight
And thank You for light
However it comes!