“With Many Tears I Traveled The Road Of Grief”

Nine years ago, in the month of July

An anniversary will take place.

Living in Nevada most of my life, I had

Decided to move, seeking something

Different, hoping to find peace and

Contentment. Little did I know, this was

Not to take place. For my son decided

He had had enough, and left this world

And a family who dearly loved him. The

News came in the middle of the night,

That call that wrings the heart in unbelief.

It was a twisting and turning on highway

88, as I traveled between the small town in

California to Reno, having to drive it several

Times with my two dogs, sick from the trip,

With many tears that almost blinded my sight.

Stopping at a roadside store for something

To eat, a kind man saw my plight, and rang

Up my bill then throwing it away, he wished

Me well. Just a simple act of kindness meant

So much. In looking back, kindnesses are

Met with thanksgiving. But I had a long

Journey of grief ahead, one that for a time would

Be forboding.


Six years, plus four months

Making seven, an event

Happened, it was never

Thought to happen, one of

Those things that happens to

Someone else, but never to


Call in the night forbidding,

She is shaking, for him looking,

A child missing never returning.


To stay or go she is wondering,

It is perplexing.

Watching him grow, playing and

Laughing, always hoping, praying

His life would be happy and


Mother and son no longer bonding,

He is sleeping, waiting for the


One night deciding, plight

Succumbing, seeming to be best,

It would be loving.

It is just too much, such awful

Thoughts resisting, nine months

Carrying, body feeding him.

A womb providing a room for

Him to grow in, a breast for


This is a testing, thoughts

Increasing, she is trying, nothing

Is helping.

Can’t explain the feelings, thoughts

Are reeling, hoping this is passing.

There is blaming, there is shaming,

Back and forth driving, twists and


Dogs vomiting , not to be late she is

Hurrying, careful the right road


Road construction frustrating

Grief succumbing, mind spinning

Depression visiting.

Unconsoling, decisions baffling,

She is resisting, she is withdrawing

People dying, fears unresolving,

Obituary disturbing, words

Troubling, this kind of death met

With frowning

Eulogy confusing


She is stopping the man is helping

His kindness enduring, turnings in

The road directing.

Storms withdrawing, passages

Protecting, comfort finding, friends

Consoling, medication helping,

Sometimes lacking.

Eyes slowly opening, ears hearing,

Tears no longer weeping.

Birds singing, sun shining, flowers

Blooming, children sharing, shadows

Lifting, she is writing, on paper


Slowly resolving, process unfolding,

She is hoping, to all things resigning.

All things loving, doors are opening

Acceptance residing!

Poem written in 2005

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