A love letter to Daddy…

“The Little Child In Me Had To Rewrite What She Had been Taught”

Back into the world of therapy and recovery,

There needed to be a reconciliation.

I had to recreate an image that I imagined

In my mind, the one as a child that I had

Developed, one that was

Unhealthy and deceiving. Why I loved my

Father deeply, when he was not around,

And when he was he was inebriated and

Unapproachable, I don’t understand. It was

Now time to recreate a healthy Father image.

I have written a book called

‘Love Letters To Daddy’ letters that had

To be written before I could let go of the

Old and grasp the New…

~~~

Daddy you were bombed last night!

Walking into the kitchen the

Morning after, light reflects you

In the breakfast nook, as I quietly

Enter to see if you are alright.

You are hiding behind the newspaper

And unable to notice your daughter.

Alcohol vapors sting my nose, you don’t

See me, as if I don’t exist.

Oh Daddy, you were the one

With the clickity-click-click of the

Tongue and the crazy songs you sung.

Where did Mama go? I think she got

Tired and left.

I remember her pouring water from

Bottles down the drain, but it had

A funny smell, I couldn’t really tell.

Who is this strange lady in your

House, the one wearing a blue

Negligee, you both swing and sway

From room to room, then pass out

On the bed.

Sounds of heavy breathing are

Alarming, I am confused and don’t

Know what to do.

Viciousness in the kitchen the day

You staggered across the kitchen

Floor.

A pressure pot of beans exploding

On the ceiling sending you to the

Hospital reeling.

I begged you not to drink, but you

Once again began to sink, I’m sorry

Daddy I made you drink.

Well, my visit with you is almost done

And my time is spent, I will soon be

Sent away.

Really Daddy, will you send me back

To those abusers and their evil ways?

Aww, please, why do you let them

Do this to me? I really don’t think I can

Take much more.

Oh, don’t make me leave, don’t make

Me go back to that smelly shack.

Your pungent smell of vinegar, cukes

And alcohol are better than that.

But my pleas were ignored, you were

Just too sick to have me around.

That fifth of whiskey made you awful

Thirsty as you hid the bottles in

Cabinets and drawers.

Remember how you swerved on those

LA freeways taking me to the bus,

Without a sound between us ?

The roar of the engines and exhaust

Fumes making me sick, carry me to

A place I would rather not go.

Finally climbing the steps, crying,

Unaware of the effects on an innocent

Child from no where.

Well Daddy I remember these

Things whether you do or not so I am

Writing these letters in hope to be

Freed of the pain that was caused!

A continuation of my love letters to daddy

To follow…

Read more at: www.donnaspoetry.com

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