Heavenly Love And Hugs

“I Knew You Loved Me Even Though As A Child I Didn’t Understand”

One of the things I remember distinctly when I would

Visit my father, even with his state of alcohol consumption,

He would hug me so tight it almost squeezed the breath

Out of me. I knew he loved me but as a child I could not

Understand why he would not let me stay with him, that

He had a devastating illness.

When I went home, if only I could have stayed with him

Things would be alright.

With my brief visits I would leave in tears. Over the few

Years of course, he died much too early.

And then my fixation began to find him through many

Things to fill the longing of love I so desperately needed.

I had written ‘the love letters’ four years ago under

Very difficult circumstances, but finding it a cathartic experience

In some ways.

Several times I have reviewed them and thinking maybe I had all

The resolution I needed.

I know I wrote them in a rather crude fashion, but then my

Experiences were crude.

Then as I am reviewing them once again to post, hoping they would

Be helpful for someone, I find that there is still healing effects.

Just last night I awoke with a dream that my father appeared and

Wrapped his arms around me, something I have longed for and I

Excitedly called my brother to come and also receive our father’s


The remarkable part of all this, is as a young adult I was

Converted to Christianity,

Seeking solace for the missing father in my life. I shared this with

My brother and he also received the invitation to accept a Father

Who desires to wrap His arms about us with heavenly hugs far

Beyond what we were denied as children.


And I will continue to post some of the ‘letters’ that explain
The process and struggles that were necessary to replace
my earthly father image with an ever present Father.

Read more at: www.donnaspoetry.com

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